


nothing lasts forever

by lonelylibrarian



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Ambiguous Happy Ending, F/F, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6087106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelylibrarian/pseuds/lonelylibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been exactly twenty-four hours and three minutes since she last saw Carol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nothing lasts forever

**Author's Note:**

> tw for death technically...nothing graphic really just a mention of it.  
> idk what tense this is in, im sorry
> 
> title from wildest dreams by tswift furthering my quest to write a fic for all 1989 songs and also that song is about lesbians so.

It's been exactly twenty-four hours and three minutes since she last saw Carol.

At first, Therese hadn't been aware of the time. Carol's hands were skimming across her thighs and every part of her, leaving her skin feeling hot and her chest tightened. Carol's lips had been pressed against her neck, leaving marks. Therese's hands struggled to find a place to rest, every part of Carol too perfect to resist. Carol moved to Therese's jaw, her lips so close to Therese's mouth that Therese almost couldn't take it. She wanted to turn her head, to feel Carol's soft lips against her own that instant. But she restrained, let Carol take her time.

Carol pulled back, moving her hands from Therese's thighs to her face, holding her in both while letting her thumbs glide across her flushed cheeks. Carol had looked as if she was going to say something, finally going to voice what had been unspoken between them for so long. Instead she leaned in again, hovering her lips just over Therese's. Therese felt her breath catch in her chest. Her eyes didn't know where to look, so she closed them. She felt the barest touch of Carol's lips against her own, then she heard the sound of the door.

Her eyes snapped open. Carol's hands left her face, leaving her feeling cold. She saw Harge standing in the doorway, his face unreadable. No one said anything for a long beat, leaving Therese to imagine what may happen. She thought Harge might beat one of them. Or both of them. Her heart had been racing so hard she couldn't feel it, but she sat stock still. She stared at the clock hanging on Carol's wall, for lack of a better place to rest her eyes. She couldn't stop looking, she became entranced by the golden hands. She counted the ticks of the minute hand, trying to synch her breathing with it.  
She was pulled out of her trance when she heard Carol take a breath, and felt the faintest squeeze of her thigh before Carol lifted herself off the bed. She took her dressing gown off of where it lay on the foot of the bed, wrapping it around herself tightly.

She picked up Therese's dress from where it lay on the floor,  
"I'll call you later." She said, as if they had just been having tea. Therese forced herself off the bed, feeling incredibly vulnerable in only a shirt and her slip. She put her dress and shoes back on before rushing towards the foyer. As soon as she was out of sight she heard Harge start yelling. She prayed silently, hoping all that time spent in Christmas pagents when she was younger would make up for her lack of devotion now.

She grabbed her jacket from the coat rack, and scurried out the door without even bothering to put it on.

And here she was now. Exactly twenty-four hours and three minutes later. She had done nothing today, she couldn't even remember if she had eaten. Everything seemed like a blur after last night. Her stomach had reduced itself to a tight ball of anxiety, suffocating her lungs and not allowing her to breath.  
She was sitting on the couch, entranced my the clock again. Her own looked different from Carol's, less ornate. The minute hand passed twelve again. Exactly twenty-four hours and four minutes since she had seen Carol.

Therese attempted to put down her worry, but she couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened to Carol. Their goodbye had been so abrupt, virtually nonexistent, that Therese couldn't rid herself of the consistent gnawing of fear in her mind.

Eventually, she pulled herself off of her couch, and got ready to leave for work. She had a late shift tonight. She liked those, because she didn't really have to focus on anything besides standing up and smiling. No one came in to buy dolls past eight.  
She came home and checked her mailbox to see if anything had been left. It was as empty as it had been for the last week.

A day passed, and then another, and then a week, and Therese stopped counting the minutes since she last saw Carol. She still couldn't lose the worry she had for her, but it had become more of a constant and steady thing. Easy to ignore. Her life has kept going, but she found herself lagging behind. She went out with Richard, she remembers he bought her a milkshake and it had tasted too sweet but she drank it anyway. She thinks she might have laughed while talking to him. She keeps going to work, keeps helping customers weigh the pros and cons of getting a doll that can move her elbows. She's slightly angry with herself, for letting Carol get to her like this. Before Carol she had been just fine. Or she thought she had been just fine. Looking back, she feels like she might have been as empty as she is now.

Therese has now stopped counting the days it's been since she's seen Carol. In fact, she's stopped counting all together. There's no point, when a week feels the same as a month. She still finds herself staring at her phone, however, waiting for it to start ringing. It never does, and she stares at it in the hallway so long her neighbors start asking questions. She tries to leave her apartment less after that.

Therese pushes Carol out of her thoughts, she looks away when she sees a blonde woman with short hair, she starts talking to Richard more; convincing herself that she enjoys his company. It's been at least a two months since she last saw Carol, and Therese has forced herself into some semblance of happiness. One day, Therese finds it in herself to check her mail box again. There's a single note in it. Therese wills her heart to slow down it's beating when she sees it, telling herself it's not from Carol. She opens the letter, it's in a plane envelope on a plane sheet of paper.

_Ms. Belivet,_  
_I'm sorry to inform you that Carol has passed away. She was caught in a terrible car accident a number of weeks ago. I would have written to you sooner, but I had to be sure the family affairs were in order. I understand the two of you were very good friends, however the funeral was for family members only - which is why you were not sent an invitation._  
_I only ask that you be respectful of my and my family's space as we mourn this tragic loss._  
_-Harge Aird_

Therese read the letter and started to shake, suddenly she couldn't see. Her eyes were blurry with tears. The hallway was too loud and too quiet at the same time but she couldn't find it in herself to move. She read the letter again, double then triple checking to ensure she's read it correctly. A tear drops onto the letter, smudging the ink right over Harge's name.  
Therese finally moved, just enough to force herself inside her apartment and onto her couch. She looked at her clock, still moving and keeping time. She can't feel herself breathing. She couldn't feel much at all.

Therese fell into a fitful sleep, waking every hour to the startling silence of her apartment. She stares at the ceiling, cloaked in darkness. Some time must pass, because eventually Richard comes in and finds her still staring at the ceiling. He picks up the letter from where it sits on the floor, and says something that sounds like an apology. Therese couldn't find it in herself to respond.  
  
Richard set the note on the table, then came back to the couch and offered to make her some food. Therese didn't respond, but when he came back with a bowl of soup she sat up and ate it.

  
Therese kept calling in sick to work, at some point she had managed to take a shower and walk around her apartment but everything had felt so empty. Before Carol, with just Richard, she had thought that was as good as her life was going to get. And she had become okay with it. She resigned herself to working in retail and eventually marrying a man she got along with. She figured that's how every woman felt. But then Carol came, and she realized how amazing she could feel, how she could go to work smiling with Carol on her mind. Now that she's gone, Therese wasn't sure she could go back to a life of settling.  
She wanted to feel Carol's soft skin against hers again, hear the way she spoke her name like it was a prayer, and see the way the sun caught in her hair as she raked her fingers through it. Everything about Carol lit a fire inside Therese, and now she was left in the cold.

She finally forced herself to go back to work, a few weeks after the note when her manager had begun yelling at her over the phone. Everything was exactly the same as before, the world had kept on turning without her or Carol to help it. Something about realizing her insignificance was oddly comforting.  
She made it through a day of work, coming home and falling on to her bed. She closed her eyes, trying to force images from the past few hours out of her head. The dolls seemed to be taunting her, every woman in a fur coat reminded her of Carol, every glimpse of blonde hair had sped up her heart rate.

Therese tried to rest in silence, pushing the heels of her hands into her eyes and biting her lip. But everything was too loud. The city street was a constant noise that had never felt more obnoxious, she could hear her neighbors above her walking around, and her bedside clock seemed to be ticking far too loudly. She tried to push the noise out of her head, focus on just the feel of her bed, but her clock would not be quiet. It kept ticking and ticking reminding her of every brutal second without Carol.

With no thought, Therese sat up and threw the clock at the wall with a scream. She heard her neighbors stop moving, and the clock finally shut up. Tears made their way down her face; or maybe they were already there. She heard her door open, and knew it was Richard. He came into her room, saying something that Therese couldn't hear through her haze. He sat down next to her and wrapped her in his arms. His arms that were too big and too bulky and were never going to feel right on her. She let him hold her anyways, keeping in mind that this may be her only option.

  
She returned to work the next day, deciding that a routine would help her. If she could zone out selling dolls to people everyday, she could forget about everything else.  
The morning went by smoothly, Therese offered fake smiles and helped someone find a red dress for their child's doll. For a few hours, she thought she might be able to piece her life back together. She even toyed with the idea of setting up a Europe trip with Richard; one she would actually go on this time.

  
When it was time for her lunch break, her manager told her there was a someone waiting out back to speak with her. She walked down the employee stair well, expecting to see Richard in the secluded alley wanting to spend lunch with her. He always brought her a flask of wine, which Therese thought was ridiculous.  
She exited the stairwell into the alley, and saw a woman standing in a fur coat. She felt her heart drop, there must be some mistake. Her manager had probably meant to get Bridgit, she got them confused a lot. The woman turned around, and it was -  
"You're not..." Therese stopped, not sure what she was planning on saying. _You're not real? You're not Carol?_

She was clearly Carol, from the dip of her cheekbones to the glint in her eyes. Carol stepped forward, bridging the few feet between them. Their toes were nearly touching and Therese felt frozen in place.  
"I'm so sorry, dear." She said, placing a hand gently on Therese's face. Therese leaned into the touch, closing her eyes. Carol's thumb glid over her cheek, wiping tears she didn't even realize were there.  
"You're here." She said, her voice breaking. She moved to embrace Carol, wrapping her arms around her waist and burying her face in the softness of her coat.  
"I'm here." Carol said, her voice gentle and reassuring. She held Therese back tightly, and tucked her head against Therese's.

  
They stayed there for a long moment, both of them taking in every part of each other. Therese gripped Carol's coat, scared she may disappear.  
Therese pulled away, just enough to see Carol's face.  
"I thought you were -" Therese couldn't bring herself to say it, even though now she can see it's not true.  
"Harge is an evil, evil man." Carol said, no hint of humor in her voice.  
Therese let out a breath, Carol leaned forward to press her lips against Therese's ear.  
"Come with me." She said, her voice quiet.  
"To where?" Therese asked, a useless question. Carol pressed kisses down her neck, slow and frantic at the same time. Everything felt so right again.  
"Anywhere."

  
Carol moved so her lips were hovering over Therese's, Therese closed the small space between them and reveled in the feel of Carol's lips against her own. They were just as she remembered, soft and kind. Carol's tongue carefully made it's way into Therese's mouth, slowly seaking every part of her. Therese ran her hands through Carol's hair, then let them rest against her face as she broke their kiss by just an inch.  
Their noses touched and breath intermingled as Therese whispered, "Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> yayay this was for the "presumed dead" slot on my femslash bingo card. four more to go hopefully i can get them all knocked out this week
> 
> my tumblr is finpoed hmu


End file.
